These are the Days

I found a PhD program that I think I would actually enjoy.

It is available at our local University.

There is plenty of funding.

They are looking for candidates.

But I can't do it, not just yet.... and maybe when the time comes that I can I won't want to any more (I have been known to change my mind once in a while).

However, I realized the other day that this is the very last school semester that I will have two Littles with me at home during the days.

Our days together look a lot like this....

pajama clad painters

lovely living room dancing

much needed afternoon snooze, because kindergarten can be exhausting
(side note: they can't nap in the same room because of all the chatter and baby-dolling, so one of them is forced to sleep in Oakley's bed and the other is alone on the bunk.  Just for nap time.  Because chatter and baby-dolling at real bed-time is actually pretty adorable and I sort of look forward to eavesdropping in the evenings). 

dinner-helping divas

I love these days with all my heart and soul, and so I'm choosing to be here, just for a little while longer.

Loving these times with my children does not mean I have figured out parenting.  Not yet, not with these two and certainly not with the Biggles (you should have seen the way our President's Day bowling outing turned into a whining pit of misery... actually, no... you should not have seen it because it was lousy and I sort of wanted to gouge out my eyes with a toothpick).


Which brings me to...  Brene Brown (my new intellectual girl-crush Watch this TED talk and find out why).....

...well, she wrote some books (I'm currently reading her latest book, "Daring Greatly"  , I also just read "The Gift of Imperfection" which was a little bit too self-helpy for me to LOVE it, but the underlying information was really valuable)

Anyhoo...

She said this about parenting.

Listen up, peeps!  This is money in the bank.

"When it comes to parenting, the practice of framing mothers and fathers as good or bad is both rampant and corrosive -- it turns parenting into a shame minefield.  The real questions for parents should be: "Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?"  If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions.  Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time.  The mandate is not to be perfect and raise happy children.  Perfection doesn't exist, and I've found that what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults."  -- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly


"Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love".

I have never been so vulnerable as I am as a parent, and I am here to say that when I allow myself to give it all to this job that I truly find joy, creativity, belonging and love.  And a headache.